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Sunday, November 08, 2009

Mieke Van de Voort


Been reading up on inspiring photographers. Here's one from "reGeneration 50 photographers of tomorrow". Mieke Van de Voort shot a series "People who died alone." She allows us into the private lives of the recently deceased. Carried out in collaboration with Amsterdam social services, the project shows the interiors of the apartments just as they were found by social workers who were researching the identity of people who had died without any known friends or relations. within the context of a wider examination of the isolation and anonymity that affect city-dwellers, Van de Voort tries to preserve both a physical and spiritual trace of people forgotten by the world, who died in complete solitude.

I was so intrigued by her work that I researched a little and found an email regarding her thought process and opinions about the houses she shot. Managed to scan in the pictures from the book to share with everyone :)

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hi. I am writing to you from Amsterdam.some thoughts I have concerning the struggle with possesion of objects and illusions if you want.



in one of my artprojects I have searched for people that live isolated from society. They have died in Amsterdam and had no-one to take care of their funeral and other affairs that need to be sorted out after death. Instead, a department of social services does the job. I took photographs of the interiors of their houses, more or less in the state they left it when they died. When one looks at these images it is easy to think that they have resigned from society and given up on order and structure in their own lives as well. The rooms certainly don¹t look like the inhabitants were expecting any visitors. most of the houses were quite a mess. the messes differed in quality.for example: many 'pretty' things like little sculptures and paintings and furniture, nicely displayed though too many to be able to appreciate,gathering thick layers of dust.

or: a mess of construction elements such as wood, paint, tools etc. at acertain point in time the diseased had started to rebuild the interior of his house (perhaps in a moment of excitement. a start to reorganise life by making the personal environment look better, changing things beginning with the living room in order to have a more pleasant surrounding and to change one's inner life by changing the reflection of it in the way things are ordered). but somewhere the realization of good intensions had got stuck and what was first only a mess of transition became a permanent landscape. The new interior looked appocalyptic, so what did it matter if to this mess ashtrays and bottles and trash were added?. in the bedroom I found a walkietalkie on a blackened pillow, half-finished paintings and a halfempty bottle of milk.

or: a house with 4 rooms each of them stuffed with things piled up inmountains along the sides and in the middle. thousands of collected items impossible to retrieve because they have disappeared under another thousands of items.




sometimes my own appartment starts taking on similar features. too manythings inhabit my space. intimidating chaos. I start to sort them out and strand in the process because I can't decide on what to do and because the items bring on memories or trigger trains of thought that I can't stop and I forget what I was doing. so many unfinished stories, where is the beginning, what were my plans? the mess around me increases the mess inside my head. I forget who I am. how did these things ever enter my house? who was I when I brought them in? how did I become so fragmented?

some of the houses I photographed were very empty. on the wall only a cutout newspaper photograph of the previous queen, nothing more personal than that.

I used to have a friend long ago who only possessed as many things as she could carry by herself.

I once read an excerpt of a novel, I think it was Paul Auster's, where the protagonist creates structure in daily life by organising things in terms of colour. for example: monday's dinner: only green foods. tuesdays dinner: only orange etc. limiting choice by colour. or is it 'directing' rather than limiting choice?

artificially setting preferences to have a basis to act on. what kind of framework do you use in daily life? live by the rules of the Q'ran? make art that cannot be sold? have seven sets of clothes that are identical so you don't have to think about what to wear? only travel to places that are in walking distance? never watch tv, only movies? etc



In one of the houses I found a Mount Everest on the kitchentable of unopened mail and most rooms were inaccessibly stocked. It seemed as though this person had been living like a reckloose among remnants of the past and was in denial of the existence of an outside world. But when I looked moreclosely I found out he had all this amateur broadcasting equipment and had kept a diary of whom he was speaking to in which part of the world. Although he lived in a capital city with nearly one million people in his proximity, it seemed he chose to have contact with people merely from a distance, in a non-physical reality. Or was it a choice?

I have a specific relationship with newspapers. I am never able to read them for more than a few days in a row. but I don't throw them away because I think I might still read the bits that I didn't cover and the ones I didn't read at all beacuse I am sure there are lots of interesting things inside.

by the time the pile grows larger than myself and falls over, I start negotiating to get rid of it because I get tired of restoring the pile each time a tram comes by and not having read the papers and adding more to it. the passing of time is manifested in the pile and I dont find reconciliation. I end up throwing them away or making some silly artpiece out of them, always with a sense of loss. the newspaper as a mirror of how I thought life would be and how it turns out to be. a collection of possibilities gone, of opportunities missed.

I once told a southafrican guy about the relationship I had had with mySouth african husband. I told him why we broke up and that I couldn't deal with his desillusions and that being desillusioned had broken him down and that I was another contribution to the collection of desillusions. hereplied that it was the stupidest thing in life to be desillusioned because one shouldn't have illusions in the first place. I felt upset.




in one of the houses I found a note on the wall, saying:

'and when I am dead
dont be sad
for I am not really dead
you should know
it is only my body
that I left behind
dead I am only
when you have forgotten me'

I wondered if anyone else but him had ever read that note and if there was anyone to make sure he wasn't really dead.

up to here for now. I have to start tidy up things!

regards, mieke


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People who died alone... hmm.. food for thought. Perhaps a little too profound and heavy on thoughts today.

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Pretty tunes and silly dreams


Photograph by Margaret Durow

I had a weird dream last night. Was racing with some VSC yr3 seniors I occasionally smile at. We were all riding pink bikes. (hey legendary trio when are we gonna bike again) And I was riding a really really small one. We were at somewhere like the bedok jetty but everything that I viewed was tinted with some pink. Somehow I lost them and ended up at kovan macs, where everything was 20cents more expensive. Apparently that 20cents raise had scared off all possible clients, and the whole place was eerily empty. I still went ahead to get my cheeseburger and coke anyway. And then somewhere before or after I dreamt that I was in the photo studio shooting again. It's almost as if my muscles were reenacting my daily routine.

Just when I thought I was okay, it came back again.
The cold is back.
I give up.
Tissue please.

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Saturday, November 07, 2009

Threads of destiny


It'll be cooler to play ambient music while reading this entry. I got hooked unto "This Will Destroy You" after hearing one of their vids on Z's entries. All along I have acknowledged this undying desire for b&w photography. & recently I've been viewing some really awesome photographs that really inspire me to take b&w photog seriously as a lifetime thing in the future. So here are the sources of my inspiration and I feel that it is just so amazing and I love how it draws me towards them.




Dodo Jing Ming
This photographer takes hauntingly beautiful images. It's actually just b&w negatives of sunflower fields but it looks like a whole raid of blacked hooded creeps. Had to stare at the image for quite a while.




Max Pam
This guy documented Tibetan nomads in 1977. They look like fictional characters that you'd never ever see in your life.






Frame after frame of stunning photographs by different people. It's almost like holding on to that story each person has. I need to do that. I need to get out there in the world and do something amazing. I need to get out there and document people's lives.





I always believe that destiny is not something we can create or change on our own. Our destiny lies in God's hands and all we need to do is find it. Find alignment in our sense of purpose in our life. My destiny is God & God's plans will determine mine. & passion towards whatever you love is placed by God Himself and in that manner, we move according to His Will, His Plan.




I'm giving myself 10yrs to let God maximize my life. I'm giving God the best years of my life. That while I am pursuing my dreams to do what I love, I will be letting God take over my life and change me radically. To stretch my faith, to bring me to greater heights, to impact people's lives in any area or place I am in.





Our future is running towards us into the present and receding into our past. What are you going to do about yours today?

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Friday, November 06, 2009

Running through my head.


God is very good to me :) I'm 2/3 through my assignment. Fatigue overwhelms me & I feel like I'm going to suffer from a burnout soon. Maybe the rest over the weekend will recharge me!

But for now, I hope to dream of pretty scenes tonight. Tinted with pink and violet.


People's eyes are so beautiful and amazing.
Some eyes are glistening with sheer joy and it brightens a room. It can hold warmth, strength and a determinant spirit for a period of time but end up in painful glances. Some days it burns with anger and hatred and others filled with judgemental looks paired with disappointment and disgust. Some eyes are filled with despair and sadness. It shys away from awkwardness, or looks away in shame. It ages with fatigue and tires into bloodshot eyes. A silent stare could be an expression itself that one cannot express.

And of all the many different eyes I've seen, painful glances are the hardest to look at. It's almost as if you connected with and could feel the same pain the person is feeling at that moment in time.



Thank you for taking the time to read about what's goes through my head. Goodnight.

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Thursday, November 05, 2009

Little things



actually I had a pretty good day. but someone just ruined it.
had a nice chat with the bus driver today, got the shot I was working on since the previous night, told some china guy he forgot to close his bag and he gave me a very wide smile after thanking me.


i want this car. Subaru R2 made in 1969. dont think they'll do such stuff anymore. sigh, so much negativity within me right now i want to throw and destroy something. Sorry pillow, i think you'll need to absorb some damage now.


Kings of Convenience - Boat Behind from françois nemeta on Vimeo.

wanted to experience this

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Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Tmr will be a better day.


Photography by Julia Galdo

' Twas a gloomy & disheartening evening. Mom gave me a hug.

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Monday, November 02, 2009

You're cold, maybe you just missed the sun.





I love how the rims of the hair catching that bit of golden light is so beautiful :) Need to snap a shot something like that one day!

the birth was quick but the death is slow

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I made the right choice.


Photograph by Jocelyn Catterson

God is always here with me.

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Sunday, November 01, 2009

You made me feel I was worth your time.


Photograph by Hannah Davis

Hey. Yknow how sometimes your week could be so crappy and you needed some source of comfort to know that life isn't so bad? This was one such week. I'm tired & sucked dry from the week. And everyday, God is my comfort and source of strength. Meeting up with old pals today was really very comforting. (Thanks you guys!) I really miss my cell group and 2 best bros at church.


Photograph by Alla Nestulova

Photog class has been actually really awesome! Was very apprehensive about it at first, but once I started shooting, I can't stop. So currently it's all film now & I can't wait to share with everyone my end products :) Amazingly, my sleep cycle has changed! I'm up by 7am to play my guitar, worship God, read my bible and pray. It is an extremely refreshing time for me, and as I commit the day to God, I feel a great sense of accomplishment at the end of the day. I love giving God my best hours of the day :)

I'm at school shooting (10-10.30am) to (6-8pm) almost everyday. Drink at least 1.5litres of water, and have about 1 meal a day. Down with a cold, I am very drained and tired, but I'm enjoying every single bit of this. Blood, sweat & tears all. WORTH. IT.

I noticed how some people work on their own. Struggle to be more exact. And I want to do everything in my means to help them. I hope I'm not meddling too much into other people's work but if there's a need that I can fill, why not right? Investing my time in people's lives is what I love to do and I feel that there's a need to break this perspective of selfishness in our society. It's not just about "me being the best or having the best", it should be about "God is number one in my life" and "loving my neighbour as myself".


Photograph by Nicole Lesser


Food for thought to chew over the week :
How can I help someone else achieve their greater potential?

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Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Trepidation


Photograph by Annabel Mehran

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Monday, October 26, 2009

Radical Change.


Photograph by Petite Star

Like these insignificant weeds, I am blown in the direction where the wind leads. I am helpless and lost on my own but along with the whisp wind lies the peace and comfort of God. The warmth of His love is so evident, and it shines beautifully changing the world into fields of gold.

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Sunday, October 25, 2009

Beautiful getaways.





If only you knew.

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Saturday, October 24, 2009

No more will I hesitate. I'm letting God take over.


Photograph by Anna Kharina

Packed my clothes yesterday. It was disgustingly a lot & I am petrified by my own spending habits. I'm going to start wearing my old stuff again. Stuff like my long skirt & sandals :) Mastered a piano piece last night! Might show everyone how I'm doing if I ever polish up on my piano skills :D There's no more orange juice in the fridge anymore :( and I haven't prepared much for school work.

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73 : 26

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Thursday, October 22, 2009

God is my Strength


Photograph by Elizabeth Weinberg

Hi all, swam 22laps today and I haven't been eating proper meals. So I lost like 2kg, which is good. Last night I cried out all my angst to God and He's slowly teaching me to be contented with what I have right now.

That contentment doesn't just happen. And I have to make a choice to begin to see things from God's perspective. & I need to look to God as my source so that my needs become defined by His heart. It's kinda hard I guess, but I need to trust in God no matter how chaotic my life might seem to be, I need to think of good things and I need to look at what I have, instead of what I don't have.

To have Christ as my source of satisfaction.
Wow.

Food for thought for the rest of the week :
"Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things." Philippians 4:8

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The other day when I ate my nine levels cake I was utterly disappointed, but anyway my mom finally bought some orange juice back home today! Whooooooo! I miss my friends in illustration and graphic design classes! Photog classes are really great since we're learning how to use those film studio cameras with all the big ass complicated parts and all. HAHA. It is awesome.

Ideas for photo shoots are turning out exciting! I'm just going to be spontaneous and have fun while I work. Not good being too stressed over my assignments! Mom topped me off with some extra cash out of the blue -> which is very very good since I'll be needing that cash to spend on some films for my photoshoots!

Indeed the Lord multiplies :D


Photograph by Wesley

I feel myself drifting
in and out
in and out

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Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Obscurity


Photograph by Wai Lin Tse

I've been feeling very weird lately. Inner conflicts and all; Getting all stressed up, low confidence and then become positive and inspired for new ideas. Could possibly eat a cow and then become not a single bit hungry. Feeling awesome and then wanting to isolate myself from the world. There are so many things I wish to say but I don't even know if they're better off left unspoken. Bizarre dreams during bus journeys of meeting people on the very same bus. & baffling imaginations derived from the music I'm listening to.

Confusion, confusion, confusion.

Everything is all fuzzy wuzzy in my head right now
& I really need to spend time with God.

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Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Wanting


Photograph by Michela Heim

Yes I still do.

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